BOOB JAIL

Thanks to Oprah, I decided to finally get fitted for a bra, now that I am almost 39 years old. 80% of women are wearing the wrong size bra!!! So I went to Nordstrom and met a very capable sales woman in Lingerie, with the surname Neppl, so you can just imagine, she was born to sell bras.
After determining my size and showing me that it is possible to pretend at least for awhile that the dreaded "fallen boob syndrome" (FBS for those in the know) hasn't happened yet (with the right bra) I asked if she could recommend a good sports bra - especially for running - that wouldn't give me uni-boob - another malady I've suffered from since my aerobics days. She came out with this contraption by DKNY that I can only refer to as "the cage" or "boob jail". This is heavy artillery. There is this huge bar that runs up along the sternum, externally, so it doesn't rest against the skin. I'm not exactly sure of it's function, but I must say that the unit works. I am inspired to run 4x/week as well as doing twice as many stairs as usual almost every week. The only trouble is, since I'm running so much, I've lost a few pounds, so these giant bras I just bought aren't going to fit me for very long.